Learin' Rockin' From Suzie

Comment on the possbile poor quality singing voice of one of your fellow rockers within the first two minutes of getting in the mansion. - Admittedly this backfired on Suzie cause Marty rocks and she cries...but it's a noble ploy to attempt nevertheless, just make sure you're more Machiavelli and less McNeil.

Stage dive! And while doing so aim for as many as your contestants' bandmates as possible. The benefits of this are two-fold...1) You look "rock" by reality TV standards in stage diving, and 2) If you're a chick and you land on dudes and they'll get to touch your boobs, naughty bits, or your ass and you've just gotten yourself some extra votes! (Come, Dino, Bobby, and Dan - tell me you didn't throw a vote or two her way after that? haha)

Cry often. It doesn't matter if it's genuine, you just wanna pick up those sympathy votes. ...Just make sure that, if you use this tactic, to cry should you actually lose or the whole thing is lost and your fans will not follow you past the show.

Giggle nervously when interviewed - ya never know, one of the band members auditioning you might find it adorable...I didn't, but Tommy Lee might. (Note: You will have to "put out" for Tommy Lee, but that'll happen whether you use this tactic or not cause Mr. Lee's like that.

Let Dave Navarro molest ya just a little...he can put in a good word for you with the other guys. If you're a dude rocker, this isn't gonna work as well so instead just talk about how you got molest the hottest, sluttiest female contestant on the show with Dave - maybe Dave will tell the other guys, "yeah, he's cool" or something else pseudo-helpful.

Let Marty touch you! Maybe his talents will rub off on you...that and, it's fuckin' Marty man! This works almost as well if you're a guy as Marty seems pretty cool and secure enough in his heterosexual manhood to let a dude touch him - just make sure you go for a handshake or something not too touchy-feely - he IS straight ya know!

-- There's gonna be 3 more of these - MiG's, Marty's, and JD's. It's based on the idea that Marty's supposed to return to give the new rockers on RockStar:Supernova tips on being a rocker or whatever...I think The Lovehammers will also be guest performing which sorta reeks of the set up of American Idol (guest gives advice then performs), but if it's Marty and the rest of the guys guesting I don't give a shit. - Oh, and just so everyone knows "No va" means "No go" in Spanish...so, uh, yeah...Anyone think that this show might fail in Spanish speaking countries? --Tooks ;-)