Battle of the Boys - Round 1: The Moves

JD: Dude, I so kick your ass during performances.

Marty: Yeah right! I own the stage, you just borrow it!

JD: I beat you in every aspect of the stage.

Marty: Fine...let's face off - mano a mano, point for point.

JD: Sure, first off, our signature moves! ...Age before beauty.

Marty: So I'm going twice?

JD: Just fucking go, Marty.

Marty: Well, I've got my Lean Back and The Conductor. Both solid moves, original and effective. The Lean Back shows my flexibilities for the ladies and with my Conductor I can get a crowd to do whatever I want.

JD: I'll give you The Lean Back 'cause even I'm impressed by how far back you can go. I mean, what the fuck, man, do you do yoga or something?

Marty: ...Or something.

JD: Ha ha. The Conductor, however...excuse me but it's called The Scary Conductor and there's a fucking reason!

Marty: Yeah?

JD: Yeah, you always look like you've either just been electrocuted or someone hit the slow-mo button on your performance. It's fucking weird man.

Marty: Oh, like your shit's so much better.

JD: Hey, The Croutch kicks ass and you can never go wrong with my Jump.

Marty: Your Jump!?! Fuck off, you stole that from me and you know it.

JD: Nah uh...

Marty: Yes you did, don't make me pull out the pictures to prove it.

JD: I got it from watching David Lee Roth...uh, never mind......what about my Croutch, that's all mine!

Marty: Well, it works sometimes...but other times it jams your crotch right into a audience members face.

JD: What's wrong with that?

Marty: Most women don't like coming face to face with a man's hard-on without at least exchanging names first...and most men don't wanna be anywhere near another dude's hard-on.