Letter Home...

Dear Mom,

The tour is going really really well so far...we've been incredibly busy.

But thankfully the guys have been relatively mature and have refraned from playing pranks on each other.(Dino: :amid suppressed laughter: Yeah, Marty, your hair looks killer...that ballon Billy rubbed on your head had no effect whatsoever.)

And, despite a rocky start they've been getting along really well with JD and all the INXS guys.

(JD: :thinks: Can't take them anymore...)

The fans have been great, I'm really shocked at the shear amount of people that know and dig us in every city!

Bobby really seems to be enjoying the female fans most of all!

I hope to write to you again soon, Mom...like I said, very busy.

Give my love to everyone back home...the guys ask that you do the same for them!!! See you again soon!

Your Son,

Marty Casey

JD Be Trippin' !

JD: Do do do...Come on, Marty, come on...Just a few more steps and the tour'll be mine, all mine!

Marty: Does he honestly think I'm not gonna see him sittin' there? That I can't simply step around his foot? :sighs: Well...I guess I could pretend...

Marty: Owww...owwww...I tripped!!! Ow, I think my leg is broken...how will I ever go on?!?

JD: Success!!!

JD: I did it! I did it!

Gary: Wow, I didn't think you had it in you.

Tim: Good job, JD! Now we won't have to worry about Marty and the rest of his band showing us up at every concert!

Gary: ...Ah, crap!

Tim: What?

Gary: Look!

Marty: Are you mothafuckas ready to rock!?!

Crowd: Woooooooooohoooooooooooo!

Marty: Uuuuuuuuultrasound....

Crowd: :random clapping and screams of joy:

JD: Goddamnit!!!

JD, INXS Q&A Goes Awry

1st Audience Member: So, ah, the show...is it pretty?

JD: Huh?

1st Audience Member: Your show...will it :starts laughing: will it be pretty?

Tim: It'll be wonderful. Next question!

2nd Audience Member: Yeah, this is for JD specifically.

JD: Yeah?

2nd Audience Member: Are you gonna keep grabbin' your dick during the performances cause I wanna know when I should look away for the next show.

Entire Audience: :laughs:

Tim: Okay, this is really immature...the Q&A is over.

Marty: Hey, guys, were those your voices I heard on the news yesterday?

Bobby & Billy: ....Maybe...

Marty: Okay, guys, that is not cool!

Bobby: Whaddya mean?

Billy: Yeah, Marty, watcha talkin' about?

Marty: I'm serious!!! We are gonna hafta spend the next month or two with these fuckers, I can't have you pissin' them off at every turn!!! Now just knock it off!

Dino: :thinks: Thank god they cut the feed before I asked that question whether JD jerking off the mic was a bizarre glimpse into his and Tim's on-the-road relatioship.

That Shirt

JD: I don't know what you're talking about! This is not an inappropriate tee-shirt!

Marty: Dude, you're basically flipping us off.

JD: I am not!

Bobby: Riiight...have you even read that shirt?

JD: How am I gonna read it, stupid, it's in Chinese.

Marty: Take it off and turn it sideways.

JD: ...Huh?

Bobby: Never mind man...

At a later show:

Dino: Oh my gawd...it totally does say that!

Bobby: Yep!

Dino: And he doesn't know?

Bobby: Not a clue.

Dino: I'm gonna tell him to tell INXS that he wore the shirt especially for them!

Bobby: Why?

Dino: Cause it'll be fucking hilarious!

Announcement

Holy shit!!! VH1.com's playing our new CD!!!

Fucking Awesome, man!!!

Kick ass!!!

You! Yeah, you...check it out!!!

Setting Some Ground Rules

It is clear from your responses (or lack thereof) that ya'll care little for tales about MiG gettin' some and so I will return to my safety zone of Marty...



Marty: Look, guys, we need to have a serious talk...

Billy, Bobby, & Dino: Yeah? What's up?

Marty: Well, the tour begins in about 5 days and we need to set some ground rules.

Bobby: Rules?

Billy: We don't need no stinking rules!

Marty: :sighs: Look, we're going to be spending about two months with JD and INXS and I'd like for everything to go smoothly. I don't want a bunch of drama and fighting between us and them.

Dino: Do you think we wouldn't win or something, cause we'd totally kick their asses

Dino (cont): ...what are the rules?

Marty: No referring to JD as JDidiot, JDumbass, JDickweed, and JDouchebag...Bobby: That's not fair, he's totally asking for it!

Billy: And it's fucking hilarious!

Marty: I'm fucking serious guys! No INXStinks, INXStupid, INXSucks, INXassholes...

Dino: Dude, is he fucking serious?

Bobby: I think so...Marty, are you serious?

Marty: What do you think?

Backstage at the first concert of the tour...

Marty: You guys ready?

Bobby: Dude, I'm always ready!

Billy: Fuckin' A, man!

Dino: Let's turn this mother out!

Marty: Right...let's kick the shit outta Jtard and his band, INXShitheads!

Slight changes cause I may have used the wrong pic in one instance so I fixed that and gave Billy a bit more to say. ;-)

Nice Guys Need Some Too

MiG: Oh, Brooke, you're so funny.

Brooke: Um, okay.

MiG: And really smart...I don't think the others realize how smart you are.

Brooke: Are those your hands on my back?

MiG: Oh my god, I can't believe I did that.

JD: Ah, don't beat yourself up, man.

MiG: I hit on Brooke! I'm a married man for pity's sake!

JD: You were just being human...you gotta keep in mind, man, we're all just human beings.

MiG: Thanks, mate.

JD: No problem. You just gotta get laid, that's all.

The next week...

MiG: OH MY GOD!!! I can't believe you're here!

Simone: I know, I'm so happy!

MiG: I've missed you so much.

Simone: I heard.

MiG: Eh?

Simone: And when I'm done with you, you won't have the energy to even look at Brooke!

Battle of the Boys - The Finale aka Suck it!

Marty: So...do you concede?

JD: What's that mean?

Marty: :laughs: Do you give up? Admit that I beat you?

JD: Fine, you won...are you happy?

Marty: I don't know...I don't really care about all that anyway.

After JD leaves:

Marty: Fucking A I won!!! Like that mo'fo ever had a chance! I rule!!!

Meanwhile, back stage:

JD: Fuck you Marty!!! Ya know what...just...just suck it!!!

MiG: Goddamn it, JD, why is it every time I look over you're touching yourself? You know, this is why I said I didn't like living with you!!! ...Fucking perv!!!

Battle of the Boys - Round 5: The Climax

Marty: Our last round, are you ready?

JD: Bring it on!

Marty: You seem awfully confident.

JD: That's cause we're going over something I know I do well...the final stance.

Marty: ...We'll see...
JD: Are you telling me that's not a kick ass stance?

Marty: It's a confident one.

JD: Yeah, kiss ass..as in I just kicked your ass! Booya!!!!

Marty: I wonder if it's not a little too confident...maybe even cocky?

JD: Oh, like it's better than yours?!?

JD (cont): You look like you're embarrassed or something.

Marty: It's called being humble, idiot. Look, I know I rock the stage, but I don't gotta go telling everyone about it...I just let my performance speak for itself. It's kinda like sex that way.

JD: Huh?

Marty: If you're good, you don't have to say you anything 'cause what you do in bed will speak for itself...if you're not so good however, I could see the need to build yourself up.

JD: Did...did you just suggest I'm bad in bed?

Marty: ...If that's the way you wanna read it...

Battle of the Boys - Round 4: The Thongs

Marty: Dude, are you still avoiding eye contact with me?

JD: Why don't you just leave me alone?

Marty: Oh...getting a little touchy are we? Feeling a little emasculated, are we?

JD: Ya know what? I'm just gonna go, that's what I'm gonna do...I'm just gonna go.
JD: Here's the thong I got from a fan after finishing Money. You can't tell me it's not fucking hot as hell.

Marty: It's very nice.

JD: Very nice? It's fucking pink with yellow flower-type shit on the string parts! It's like stripper gear!

Marty: :sighs: It's a girl's thong.

JD: What, would you gather a dude's?

Marty; No, idiot, I mean it's the type of thong a girl would wear. Someone who's a tease; inexperienced and not actually intending to let a guy get an up close and personal look at her in said thong.

JD: What are you getting at?

Marty: What I'm getting at is that the thong you're holding very likely belongs on a thirteen year old girl. ...Now, the thong I got for my performance of Trees is a different story...

Marty (cont): It is a simple black g-string without any special effects, so to speak.

JD: So your little panty-throwing fan was boring and up-tight.

Marty: On the contrary, this is the undergarments of a woman. She is a lady who knows what she wants, how to get it, and what to do with it once she's got it.

JD: So you're saying a chick in something like that is more likely to put out?

Marty: If that's the way you would like to put it, yes. A woman who wears something like this wants to have sex and, apparently, she wants to have it with me.

JD: ...Still, I have fans willing to throw panties at me!

Marty: Yeah, too bad you'd go to jail for trying to get into any of 'em...