Commericals in Lovehammer Land

By Ayesa86:

Double Your Pleasure! Double Your Fun!

With DoubleMint Gum MotherFuckers!!!Dino & Bobby Kourelis

Audition Number 75943875349857

Doublemint Twins Commercial

By BeachBaby/Henry:

Hey, guys, don't you hate when you come off the stage and your hair just isn't looking its best? Do what I do and try Verbal Essence Shampoo. Makes your hair clean, soft, and all the ladies will love to run their fingers through it. When you're done, take a swig - it does wonders for the vocal cords too. Take it from me, Marty Casey, and try Verbal Essence today!

By Tooks (Me):

When I want my hair flowing soft and smooth for that big concert I use the new Marty Essense, now with Lovehammer Lift...Bursting With Body.

(Note: "Bursting with Body" is actually the tag-line for Herbal Essense's new product line, Citrus Lift)

-- Thanks to Ayesa for letting me use this Ayesa86, and I hope you're not pissed I'm using yours Henry - I found it on the old LH board and it fit so perfectly I had to have it!

Trees Video - by MoonliteMelody

Dino: Kill me now.

Bobby: Oh look, the ball is bouncing!

Marty: What the fuck did I do to deserve this?

Billy: :singing happily: I don't wanna ...

The pic and dialouge is MoonliteMelody's - I made some slight changes to Marty's comment, but that is all. Give her some love!

Dino Discovers He Has Magical Powers - By Spocky

JD: Ha ha ha! Look at my ass crack!

Dino: Dude...I hope you turn into a dragon with worms.

*POOF*

JDragon: Damn it all!!!

Dino: Uh, what just happened?

T-Bone: What's with the dragon with worms?

Dino; Uh, I don't know...T-bone.

*POOF*

Dino slowly backs away

Again, all Spocky's genius...show her some love folks!!!

The Tour So Far for Marty

Marty: Oh, Dinoooo, look what I got! PANTIES!!!

Dino: Ha ha...Dude, you are such a loser.

Ladies: :chant: Take them off! Take them off! Take them off!!

Marty: Woah, woah....ladies, show some restraint, for the love of gawd!!!

Marty: I fucking love this tour!!! It kicks ass like no other!!! La la la!!!

Bill: Dude, did Marty get laid last night?

Bobby: I have no clue...but I hope that whatever happened to him happens to me real soon.

Dino's Incredible Fear of Flying Muffins - By Spocky

Dino: OH FUCK ITS A FLYING MUFFIN! GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEE!

Again, this all Spocky! Give her a hand ladies and gents! (Once a key picture is fixed I'll be posting another one of her wonderfully weird PicFics!)

JD's Ear Fetish - by Spocky

JD: :thinks: I LIKE TO SMELL PEOPLES EARWAX! WHOA! HIS EAR SMELLS LIKE PEANUT BUTTER! :brain activity shuts down:

Dave: :thinks: Play dead...maybe it will get bored after a while.

This is all Spocky's! She gave me permission to post it so let's all thank her for the hilarious insanity! ;-)

Breast Wishes for Ted

Ted: Okay, everyone, listen up! No personal photos, one CD is to be signed per person, and there's alotta people so please don't hold the line up for everyone else, okay?

Fans: Aaaaaaawwwwwwww!

Ted: Also, no jumping the line, no jumping the rope, no jumping the Lovehammers! :thinks: please let this go off without a hitch or a punch to my face

Hot Chick: OH MY GAWD I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! Will you please sign these? :pulls down shirt:

Ted: :thinks: Oh good lord.

After Meet & Greet:

Ted: :starts giggling:

Marty: Ted, dude, are you okay?

Ted: :giggling: Did...did you...

Marty: Did I what?

Ted: :whispers: Did you see the breasts on that one lady? I mean...my gawd, were they even real?

Lovehammers: :burst into laughter:

Marty: Yeah, man, we did.

Bobby: And yeah, they were real.

Billy: And congrats, dude, you're officially one of us.

Dino: Haha...did you see those breasts? How could you not? HAHAHA!!!

-- This was written in honor of Ted. Yeah, he can be a hard ass, but he's got a tough job...Hope you got alotta sneak peaks at some fabulous breasts while on tour, man! -- Tooks ;-)

Greeting the Chicago Way - A Slightly Morbid PicFic by A86

The last night at the mansion...

JD: Hey guys, this is our last night, so can I ask you something?

MiG: Sure JD.

JD: Will you guys go to the ends of th--

Marty & MiG: NO!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night...

JD: Hey MiG...

MiG: What is it?

JD: Why is Marty always flipping me the bird? He does that a lot...

MiG (frowns): You mean he didn't tell you?

JD (gets excited): Didn't tell me what MiG?

MiG: He's not flipping you off! That's the traditional Chicagoan form of greeting!

JD (big eyes): Really??

MiG (feigning seriousness): Oh yes. You should definitely try it next time you're over there.

JD: Thanks MiG!^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later...

Newscaster: Yesterday, Mr. JD Fortune, the new lead singer of INXS was brutally murdered by an enraged mob in the streets of Chicago.

Marty: Damn...what did he do?

Newscaster: Eye witnesses claim that Mr. Fortune was flipping off everyone he saw while grinning merrily. As he was engulfed by the mob, he reportedly screamed "I was just saying hello!!!!"

MiG: Oh...crap...

Marty: What?

MiG: I didn't think he would believe me...

Marty: MiG? What did you tell him?

MiG: I told him that you flipping the bird was the customary Chicagoan greeting. I didn't think he would actually DO it!

Marty: Dammit MiG! You KNOW how gullible that boy is! Now what?

MiG: I dunno. Orange?

Marty: Sure.

Newscaster: That was the elebben o'clock news. Good night.

(MiG & Marty both freeze and stare at the TV set in horror)

Marty: Did that just say what I think it did?

MiG: Couldn't have...

Both: Nah…

This was done entirely by Ayesa86 on the Mc.org board and she was gracious enough to give me permission to post it here...Give her some love guys!!! Tooks ;-)

Testing, testing! F-YOU!

Having some gliches...just trying something...
Come on, you muthafucka...WORK!!!!

Sound Check Sick - Domino's First PicFic!

Guys, we gotta do a sound check again.

Aw man! What now?

Get this. JD got sick all over the electrical system. SHorted everything!

Ah haha! Freakin' loser.

*moans* Man, I shouldn't have eaten all those shrimp. *gurgle*

This was supplied entirely by Domino...only the title is mine ;-)

Thanks Domino! I love it!!! -- Hope ya do some more for me!

Random Crazy(4Marty)ness

Marty: Really? Ladies? Back-stage? For me?

JD: Yeah.

Marty: Not for you? ...But for me?

JD: ...Yeah :whispers: Ya lousy son of a...

Marty: I gotta check this out!

Marty: WOW! Look at all of them!

JD: Yeah, yeah, yeah... :begins to hatch devious plot:

Marty: Ahhh! JD, what fuck are you doin'?

JD: Hey, look everyone, Marty's gay!!! Hey, all you chicks, Marty's gay...now ya hafta sleep with me instead!!!

Ladies: Naaaah....

Lady #1: Actually you're the one that looks gay, Marty just looks terrified!

JD: Son of a bitch!

Later Marty retells the harrowing tale to some eager fans...

Marty: Then JD grabbed me with this crazed look in his eyes...I really though he was gonna start frenchin' me!

Fan #1: Did he have that marker in his hand?

Marty: What? Oh, no, but I'm gonna sign this after the story.

Fan #1: Ooooh...can I have it?

Marty: Sure!

This PicFic was based of a series of pictures Crazy4Marty posted for me at the PicFics thread at the lovehammers.com board - feel free to do the same!

The Tour So Far for Dino K

Dino: :thinks: Just one more song and I can go take a piss....

Audience: Encore encore!!!

Dino: :thinks: Oh, for fuck's sake!!!


Bobby: Oh my gawd, man, what the fuck are you doin'?

Dino: What? I'm drinking.

Bobby: From JD's cup!

Dino: :spits: Aw, nasty!!! JDork cooties!!!

Bobby: Man, this is just not your month.
Dino: :thinks: Note to self: Self, do not drink a bottle of Jack Daniels' worth of Jack & Cokes the night before a promo-gig.

Hobbit Hair Montage - by AngelShadow

Ok I was thinking about doing this for a while and I was cracking up all day about it too. Here it is Ladies and Gentlemen The Hobbit Hair Montage:

First lets take a look at some Hobbit Hairstyles shall we? (too bad if you said no I'm gonna do it anyways)
Now for the Billy comparison:
More Hobbits:
More Billy:
Perigrin Took:
Billy Sawilchik:
And Finally The picture that started it alll: Presenting Mr. Will E. Longrod
And the Hobbit comarison:

To conclude this post I would like to say I hope you had a laugh. No I am not saying that Billy is a Hobbit but It is amusing how much he seems to look like one at times. Though he does seem to have that mischievousness that Hobbits always have.

Also Billy, dont take offence to this it was done out of love and the fact that it is so cute. Dont cut your hair You are absolutely Perfect the way you are!!!

The Tour So Far For Billy S

This one goes out to AngelShadow...cause she requested it, it came early (or right on time, lol)!

Billy: I've got your pen, I've got your pen.

Marty: Dude, they're fans, not puppy dogs.

JD: Hey, give that back!!! Waaaahhh!!!!

Marty: Oh, never mind... :chuckles:

Billy: :thinks: Damn it Marty, I know the ladies love the low-riders, but there's a limit of how much of your ass I can take per show!

Billy: Oh! Panties!

AngelShadow: I LOVE YOU BILLY!!!!!!

Billy: I love you too, baby!

The Tour So Far For Bobby K

So, I figured I'd give each Lovehammer guy there own spotlight for awhile...This is Bobby's experiences! (As I imagine them, of course, lol.)


Bobby: :thinking: Ooooh....hot chick, HOT CHICK!!! Please have her let me sign her boobs, please let me have her sign her boobs!!!

Hot Chick: OH MY GAWD I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! Will you please sign these? :pulls down shirt:

Bobby: Sure. :thinks: Thank you!

Bobby: Heh heh...heh heh. Man, I am so high right now, I have no idea what's goin on...

Billy: What the hell'd you do man?

Bobby: I was just breathing in the fumes from this bag...I think there was a busted freon can in it or something...heh heh

Billy: Oh, for fuck' sake!

Bobby: Well, hellooooo ladies!

Ladies: Ahhhhhhh ah ah ahhhhhhhh!!!! :show their breasts and offer him "the night of his life":

Bobby: :thinking: Gawd I love this tour!

-- Most, if not all of these pics have been used with the permission of their taker, Jezza (from the LH board)...I'm not sure about the last one 'cause I've had it for so long; if it's yours and you don't want me to use it please let me know. -- Tooks!

From the Dazed Recollection of the Tour

Dino: Thank gawd those security guys didn't find all those tiny liquor bottles in their search for drugs, huh guys?

Billy: Dude, I really don't think they'd have cared about the liquor.

Marty: :laughing: Does this mean I'm married to the Sisterhood? Hey, this is still warm! Oooh that is so fuckin' hot!

Billy: Holy shit, Marty, what the fuck is that?!?

Marty: That's a camera...Christ, man, how much have you been drinkin'?

Bobby: Heh heh, hey look...I'm playing a drumstick like a flute!

Dino: Dude, there's no sound coming outta that.

Bobby: Well, duh, I'm miming it!

Ladies: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marty: Ladies, this isn't a sex show!

Tooks: Oh, but it'd be great if it turned into one at Boston's The Wang! Boys, it'll be my 23rd birthday 2 weeks from the day of the concert...how would you like to make me the happiest 23 year old in the world? ; - )